Doubting

I've been writing a lot recently. It makes me feel really good to get back into something that I used to find so much joy in. And I think I'm pretty good at it. But every once and a while self-doubt sets it.

Y'know, it's normal. It's something that I've been doing for at least ten years and for the most part, I've felt good about what I was writing. But going back, most of what I've written isn't all that great (I don't blame myself, it's good for a very inexperienced writer). So I guess it can't be helped that the self-doubt creeps in. 

Some of it's fine, and it even helps me tweak my writing to get better. But the thing is, it becomes crippling. I'll be writing and then I'll think, "No, this isn't good, I shouldn't put this, what am I even thinking" and I'll delete a whole passage. I'll be writing for hours and only get a paragraph written. It's becoming bothersome.

Because all I want to do is write (or sometimes paint, I've got some paintings I'd like to post on here) but then the self-doubt gets its nasty little claws on my brain and instead I end up playing solitaire for the whole day. 

What I'm trying to say is: I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that I can't write. I'm frustrated that I keep doubting myself when I know reasonably that my writing is fine. And I'm frustrated that my brain is wired to make me so stuck like this.