Blink
Inhale.
Blink
Exhale.
Blink
Inhale.
The
cursor is taunting you;
the
words aren’t forming themselves
The
cursors blinks.
The
page stays blank.
Slam!
The
lid shutters under the violence of your closing it.
Inhale.
You
open the laptop,
inspect
the screen
No
cracks;
this time.
Burst
of voices from the hall:
loud
and annoying.
“Why
can’t they just be quiet?”
You mean:
“Why aren’t they
miserable like me?”
Flip
the
pages on the calendar but nothing changes.
You’re
still alone,
day in and day out
No
one’s noticed or cared to ask.
You still grumble about the voices
in the hall
ignoring
the nagging voice:
“Stop blaming everyone
else for your problems.”
AAH!
Week
after week your mind goes.
The
door stays shut,
and no one knocks.
You’re
still angry.
Angry at them:
for not noticing.
Angry at the world:
for making you this
way.
Angry at yourself:
for not doing anything.
No
one will fix you for yourself.
Wailing,
The
sound outside your door is unbearable.
You’ve
tried;
WHY CAN’T ANYONE SEE YOU’VE TRIED!
You’re
still inside
Inside your room.
Inside your head.
Inside your
hell.
No
one will fix you for yourself
Ring!
Your
parents calling again.
You’re
done this time
No more fake smile,
and lying that everything is fine
You
try,
but the words stay lodge in your
throat.
Why
don’t they just notice you’re drowning?
Why won’t they fix you?
Silence.
Dead
of night.
Weeping
again,
and you don’t know how much more you
can take.
No
one’s noticed,
or cared to ask.
You’ve
got to do it yourself.
“Hey,
can we talk? It’s serious.”
No one will fix you for yourself.
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