"DIY" a prose poem

Blink

Inhale.

Blink

Exhale.

Blink

Inhale.

The cursor is taunting you;

the words aren’t forming themselves

The cursors blinks.

The page stays blank.

 

Slam!

The lid shutters under the violence of your closing it.

Inhale.

You open the laptop,

inspect the screen

No cracks;

            this time.

 

Burst

            of voices from the hall:

loud and annoying.

“Why can’t they just be quiet?”

            You mean:

                        “Why aren’t they miserable like me?”

 

Flip

the pages on the calendar but nothing changes.

You’re still alone,

            day in and day out

No one’s noticed or cared to ask.

            You still grumble about the voices in the hall

ignoring the nagging voice:

                        “Stop blaming everyone else for your problems.”

 

AAH!

Week after week your mind goes.

The door stays shut,

            and no one knocks.

You’re still angry.

            Angry at them:

                        for not noticing.

            Angry at the world:

for making you this way.

            Angry at yourself:

                        for not doing anything.

 

No one will fix you for yourself.

 

Wailing,

The sound outside your door is unbearable.

You’ve tried;

            WHY CAN’T ANYONE SEE YOU’VE TRIED!

You’re still inside

            Inside your room.

                        Inside your head.

                                    Inside your hell.

 

No one will fix you for yourself

 

Ring!

Your parents calling again.

You’re done this time

            No more fake smile,

            and lying that everything is fine

You try,

            but the words stay lodge in your throat.

Why don’t they just notice you’re drowning?

            Why won’t they fix you?

 

Silence.

Dead of night.

Weeping again,

            and you don’t know how much more you can take.

No one’s noticed,

            or cared to ask.

You’ve got to do it yourself.

 

“Hey, can we talk? It’s serious.”

            No one will fix you for yourself.

 

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